Last dance, last chance?
by Pemonynen
Summary: Based on the itv trailer for the Christmas Special. My take on the events of the ball.  No copyright infringement etc. intended.  No real spoilers.  Chapter 2 most definitely M.
1. Chapter 1

_This is just a random bit of romance and daydreaming based on the promotional trailer. I'm going on my own (probably wrong) assumption that Matthew and Carlisle have fought and he has been kicked out. Mary gets caught in the middle and her dress is ruined, hence different dresses for the punch and the dance. Don't know about the title, seemed like a good idea at the time. Gets a bit *ahem* naughty *blushes*. M just to be on the safe side… Erm yeah…_

_Enjoy?_

**Last dance, last chance?**

He took her hand and rested his other lightly on her back, while she barely touched his shoulder. They stood watching each other, waiting for the music to start, a faint smile played across his lips. She was trying to keep her face neutral, but it was difficult. After what seemed like too long, the music filled the air and he started to lead her around the hall in an elegant waltz. It was like they were gliding, floating even.

"How's your hand?"

"Still a bit sore, but I'm sure I'll recover," he smiled properly, and this time she returned it. "Unlike Sir Richard," he raised an eyebrow, waiting for her reply.

"I think perhaps that it was his pride that was more hurt," she raised her own eyebrows. "Not just his jaw."

"Well you know what they say, pride comes before a fall," his eyes glimmered with mischief.

"Really Matthew, you are taking far too much delight in this," her tone was disapproving but her eyes were just as mischievous.

"Sorry I ruined your dress," he really was sorry that he had stumbled into her with blood pouring from his nose and had got it on her lovely dress. He was even more sorry that she had accidentally got caught between him and Richard as they had fought. Luckily…very luckily…she hadn't been hurt.

"I don't think blood comes out of silk. But it was only a dress, I suppose," she sighed, reliving the earlier events. "Thank you," she spoke more softly this time and gently squeezed the hand that held hers. He was lost in her deep brown eyes that were now shimmering with tears.

"You don't have to thank me Mary… I just want you to be happy," he smiled sadly. _Please don't be happy without me._

"And now I can be?" She arched her eyebrows. _Not without you I can't._

"Yes I think you can," _and with me you definitely can_. She nodded her head once in reply and looked over his shoulder. All of a sudden the dance seemed to be taking far longer than it should have done. They both wanted to speak but neither could find the right words. He needed to talk to her without the eyes and ears of the party on them. She just wanted one more moment alone with him that could not be ruined by her former fiancé.

"Well that is all I want for you as well Matthew, to be happy. A new year that can bring a fresh start for everyone," _let me make you happy_. Their eyes met and were full of things said and unsaid. For the first time in a long time they were both free. There were no fiancés, no war, and no secrets, but something still wasn't quite right between them, and neither one could put their finger on it. Violet watched them from across the hall with interest. She knew the problem, had always known the problem…they got in their own way. They both thought too much, and both always wanted to do the right and honourable thing, which often meant they were doing more harm than good to themselves.

Mary's chest felt tight, the weight of Matthew's gaze was making her heart pound erratically. She was sure he would be able to hear it, or feel it, for somehow they had moved ever so slightly closer together. Matthew felt dizzy; the proximity to her and the smell of her perfume was completely overwhelming. And suddenly it struck him, like an epiphany, and his thoughts became crystal clear and he knew exactly what he had to do. He pulled his gaze away and spotted an open door, and his opportunity, across the hall. He twirled her around the floor, his legs feeling a lot more like lead than they had a few minutes ago. Mary wasn't paying attention, the hall and everyone else had become a faded blur. She was vaguely aware of him leading her across the hall but all she could see was his face, watching where he was taking her, his bright blue eyes flicking to her face every now and again. She was completely aware of the feel of his arm around her back, of his hand in hers, of how her dress kept brushing against his legs. His hand shifted and she had to suppress a gasp. His thumb was now touching the bare skin of her back, and the contact burned them both, causing desire to flash through them.

With a final twirl he pulled her into the room. The library he realised. Violet smiled as they disappeared. It was about time. They stopped moving and he pulled away to shut the door. She watched him closely as he dipped his hand into his jacket pocket, but she couldn't see what he was holding. It suddenly struck her that they were completely alone.

"I need to talk to you Mary," he stepped towards her. "I only need you to answer yes or no. Nothing…you don't need to say anything else." She nodded, suddenly feeling both hopeful and scared in equal measure. He hadn't said much since Richard had left, or rather he hadn't said much to her. He'd barely looked at her since then.

"Do you love Richard?" His eyes were dark and he unconsciously clenched the fist that only hours ago had collided with Carlisle's face.

"No." Relief, then hope flooded through him.

"Do you love me?" Oh god he hoped he was right. She looked at him for a long time, not giving anything away. Did he want to know so that he could reject her even more cruelly? So that he could mock her? Not that it mattered, her reputation was already in tatters. Except that it did matter.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "yes." She opened them. He was grinning and holding something shiny between his fingers. Her heart stopped.

"Mary, will you marry me?" Everything stopped.

"Yes," she spoke so quietly that he almost didn't hear but the look in her eyes and the smile on her face told him everything. He held out the ring and chuckled as she impatiently took her gloves off. He slid it onto the finger that it had been made for, keeping her hand in his as she admired it. It was not the same ring that had adorned Lavinia's finger. It was a plain gold band with a beautifully cut diamond set in the centre. It was exquisite.

"When did you get this?" the words were out before she'd even thought about it. He coloured sheepishly.

"Just before Sybil's ball."

"But that was over 5 years ago!" She couldn't hide her surprise that he had kept it for so long, that he hadn't given it to Lavinia.

"Yes. But that is your ring, and even if things hadn't worked out this evening, it would always be your ring," their eyes met and he leaned down to kiss her lightly on the mouth. As gentle as the kiss was, it reignited the spark between them and instantly they reached for the other, hands pulling each other closer, both vaguely comprehending that they were now _allowed_ to do this. When they had kissed before, they had been chaste, stolen kisses; nothing at all like the raw animal need that was now pulsing through them. It was like some primal instinct…they both knew exactly how to move and tilt their heads, where to put their hands…

He started to push her backwards and she felt herself collide with something, possibly the door, she didn't know. She didn't care. This was…this was… There were no words for how she was feeling. Who needed thoughts when Matthew was doing such delicious things with his tongue to hers? Matthew's thoughts were in a similar state of incoherency. They were going to get married. She was going to be his wife. They could do this whenever they wanted. That particular thought made him groan and he leaned deeper into the kiss, hands gripping onto her waist. She moaned at the sudden pressure and arched her back and her hips, trying to mould herself against him, hands knotting in his hair. His lips broke contact with hers and she whimpered as they met her neck and she felt his teeth lightly graze against her skin. She was so soft and warm and her skin was so silky…his lips reached her earlobe and she moaned again. Every sound she made filled him with desire and spurred him on. He returned his attentions to her mouth and one of her hands found its way inside his jacket, inside his waistcoat…inside his shirt. He gasped as he felt her fingernails against his chest. He felt one of her legs shifting. He realised what she was trying to do and lifted the skirt of her dress, not once breaking apart. He moved his hands and lifted her as she wrapped both legs around him, hooking tightly onto his hips. They both groaned at the new contact and he pressed even closer to her, feeling the heat from between her legs and wishing they were in far less clothes. Her hands were back in his hair, he kissed along her collar bone. His own hands were holding her thighs, stroking against the silk of her stockings. One hand moved further up her leg and her eyes shot open, meeting his. They were almost navy. Hers were almost black. The heady rush of lust and love was making them dizzy and clouding their vision. She couldn't breathe with the anticipation. She gave the barest of nods, and leaned to kiss him, whimpering as their lips met again and he shifted his hips against her, eliciting fresh moans from them both.

A loud cheer from the other room made them jump and brought them back to reality. He slowly let her set her feet back on the ground and moved his hands so they were barely resting on her waist. Her hands were on his chest, palms flat. They both closed their eyes and rested their foreheads together, trying to calm their racing hearts and slow their irregular breathing. Another cheer.

"We should go back to them," he said between ragged breaths. "They'll be starting the countdown soon." After what seemed like forever, but was really only a few minutes, they had both managed to get back to normal. It took a great deal of effort to open his eyes, but he was glad that he did. She was smiling languidly, a deep red flush that matched her dress was colouring her cheeks, a few strands of hair had come loose from the immaculate knot it was twisted in, and when she opened her eyes, he saw everything that he always wanted to see but had often chosen not to. She reached up and kissed his cheek before pushing him away so they could straighten themselves up. She patted her dress and hair, while he refastened his buttons and smoothed his own hair. He took her hand and laced their fingers together, taking a deep breath before opening the door and re-entering the room, noticed only by Violet, who also noticed the pink flush in their cheeks, the bright gleam in their eyes, and the way their hands were clasped together.

"…6…5…4…3…2…1! Happy new year!" Everyone in the room called. There was hugging and hand shaking and applause and kissing of the cheeks and the chinking of glasses. Matthew looked up and smiled, and indicated for Mary to follow his gaze. Mistletoe. Of course. He turned to face her and pulled her into a passionate kiss, which everyone noticed.

"What are you doing?" Robert's voice rang out across the room and everyone fell silent. Mary and Matthew pulled apart and looked sheepishly at one another.

"We…I…we're engaged," she said finally, holding up her newly decorated hand for the room to see, her other still firmly attached to Matthew. The silence was deafening, people looked awkwardly between each other, until Robert's face broke out into a grin.

"My dear boy, my darling girl," he strode over to them and the room erupted into cheers and applause. Congratulations flowed like champagne, and the earlier events (and fiancés)were quite forgotten. Violet smiled to herself. She knew that's all they had needed…just time alone in a room together.

* * *

><p>Sometime later, the party came to a natural end and everyone had gone to bed, leaving just Mary and Matthew dancing slowly around the hall, unable to stop smiling shyly at each other and keeping their fingers laced together, and exchanging soft, sweet kisses. There was no need to repeat the events of earlier. Well, not just yet anyway. Fatigue hit Mary and she leaned closer to Matthew, trying to suppress a yawn.<p>

"I think it's time for bed my dear," he murmured into her hair. She nodded and very reluctantly pulled away from him and started towards the stairs, he caught up with her and placed an arm lovingly around her shoulders. He didn't know where she was going. He hadn't seen this part of the house before. And then he realised that it was probably where the family bedrooms were. His heart started racing again as she stopped outside a door. Her bedroom. She leaned against it and he pressed himself to her, kissing her slowly, passionately, reigniting the fire.

"I don't have to go to my room you know…I could always just…stay here…" he whispered, brushing his lips against her ear.

"I don't think that's a very good idea Matthew. It's hardly proper behaviour," she smiled and kissed the side of his face. He did not stop with his attentions, and was starting to make her feel quite dizzy again. She giggled and pushed him away. "Good night Matthew." He kissed her again, before dragging himself away. She opened the door, turned back to him, flashed him the most alluring smile he had ever seen…and then shut it in his face. He groaned softly and rested his head against it, before straightening up and trying to work out how to get to his room, and how acceptable a very short engagement would be.

* * *

><p><em>Hope you liked it! It could carry on I suppose…maybe…<em>

_Reviews etc. welcomed and appreciated! Thanks for reading!_


	2. Chapter 2

_I hadn't intended to do another chapter to this, but I woke up yesterday morning and it was already essentially created (my mind has a tendency to wander). Couple that with working in a shop that had seen no customers all day and access to lots of scrap paper, and here it is! Definitely M this time *backs away blushing furiously to go and hide for a bit*. Oh and thank you to everyone that has reviewed and alerted! Really appreciate it! Also, apologies for any spelling mistakes etc…It's quite late!_

**Chapter 2**

Mary sighed as the door clicked behind her, wishing she had let him follow her. She desperately wanted him, but she also wanted everything to be perfect, and if they rushed, it wouldn't be. It was _Matthew_. She could not ruin things this time. She kicked her shoes off and started removing her jewellery, except for the ring. It was so beautiful, so simple and understated; a complete contrast to the one that Richard had given her. She realised that Matthew must have retrieved it when he went home to change after Richard had left. She doubted that he would have just happened to have been carrying it around with him. Part of her was thrilled that it had been his intention all evening, that in spite of everything he _still_ wanted her. She was engaged. To _Matthew_. It didn't feel real. His name, his eyes…his hands were swimming around her head, and she was starting to feel a lot less tired than before. Oh why had she sent him away from her room? She sighed again and started to undress, leaving her dress and slip on the floor where they fell. She pulled the pins out of her hair and let it fall down her back. The dim light caught the small diamond and she smiled again. She was so happy. Her thoughts started drifting…a wedding…the wedding night…living with him…children… A soft tap on the door startled her. She reached for her nightgown as the door opened but didn't have chance to put it on as Matthew appeared.

She was undressed. Oh god. He couldn't take his eyes off her bare shoulders…off the bare skin at the top of her thigh, where her stockings ended…off the cascades of dark chestnut hair falling around her face. She was staring at him, clutching at something that was cream and silk, mouth open in surprise. He'd removed his tie. And his waistcoat. And his jacket. And the top button of his shirt was open. She couldn't stop the blush that was creeping up her neck to her face. The air thickened around them as he stepped inside.

"Matthew, what are you doing here?" she whispered loudly, still clutching at her nightgown. "And where are the rest of your clothes?" Not that she minded…he looked even more handsome in this less than formal state than he normally did, which was not something she would have thought possible. He smiled at her reaction to him.

"I was starting to undress for bed but then I started thinking. We don't need to worry about being proper. Propriety is for when you are trying to secure a fiancée, and I already have one of those," his voice was low, and he smiled and raised an eyebrow, crossing the room to her in three long strides. Their eyes were locked on each other's. He gently tugged the silk from her hands and let it slip through his fingers. Before she could even think about responding he had claimed her mouth with his, pulling her close to him and reaching behind her to find the ties of her corset. He moved his lips to her neck, making her skin practically hum.

"Can you manage?" she gasped as he pulled at the laces on her back, her hands wrapping round his waist and stroking his back through the thin material of his shirt, feeling the heat radiating from him.

"My dear, I have managed army boots," another blazing kiss somewhere close to her ear. She wondered if he still had his uniform... "And hunting boots; I am fairly certain that this silly corset will not be a problem…" as he said it she felt it release and moved her arms, letting it drop to the floor. He gasped as he caught a tantalising glimpse of her slim form before she pressed herself against him and leaned into his kisses. He ran his hands up and down her back, causing her to shiver and sigh with pleasure. She was so soft and so warm. Was she made of silk? Her hands reached up and slowly undid the rest of his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and trailing her hands down his arms and then across his chest, letting her fingers linger on the faint scars, bending her head to kiss them. His turn to shiver. She leaned up and kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He groaned as her breasts pressed against the bare skin of his chest. They stumbled over to the bed and he pulled her onto his lap, running his hands over her thighs, wondering if she would leave her stockings on… The thought was lost as she wriggled over him, pressing closer still, and gently grazing her teeth along his jaw and neck. His hands slid to her waist, and up over her breasts, his thumbs rubbing against the sensitive skin. Her head rolled back with a sharp gasp. Ah. She liked that. He lowered his head and replaced one of his hands with his mouth, causing her to moan again and squeeze his hips with her legs and tug his hair with an iron grip. How did he know just how to touch her in a way that was so pleasurable it was almost painful? She didn't need an answer, she didn't even care. His mouth and his hands were doing such wonderful, unspeakable things to her… Every single cell in her body was on edge, and she almost shook every time he touched her, kissed her…

He could do this all night. He _wanted_ to do this all night. He wanted her. Her high-pitched gasps and sighs were filling the still air. He was doing that to her. He was making her feel like that… His head was spinning. Suddenly she pulled away and kissed her way down his torso until she reached his trousers, which she swiftly removed, along with everything else he still wore. She slid down to the floor, kneeling in front of him, her fingers lightly skimming over his skin. She smiled a thoroughly naughty smile at him and lowered her head. He couldn't breathe. His head lolled back and his eyes squeezed shut in anticipation…and then, he felt her mouth, hot and wet… If he died now, he'd die happy. He froze. What a completely stupid thing to think, especially after…everything.

"Matthew, what is it?" His eyes snapped open and she was filling his vision, her face full of concern. "Did I…do something wrong?" Her stomach was suddenly in knots.

"No. No. Definitely not, it was…" there weren't words to describe how wonderful that had felt. He pulled her up to him and embraced her. "I love you very much you know," he smiled.

"Well I should hope so," she arched an eyebrow and smiled back, "I love you too," she kissed him, before moving back and resuming her previous position. Oh god… He thought he might black out from the sensations… Where…_how_ did she learn how to do that? But then just as quickly, she stopped and he let out a groan of frustration. She crawled onto the bed and stretched herself out, propping herself up on one elbow, her other hand resting on her hip with the ring shining in the low light. Her eyes were dark with desire, her mouth slightly open and her skin now a deep pink hue, her gaze never leaving him. This woman was his undoing. She was pale and beautiful, like a marble statue. But so very very real. He shifted and lay alongside her, letting his hands travel over her smooth, gentle curves. Something changed in the atmosphere between them. Gone (well, almost) was the primal lust, replaced with an overwhelming love, which started gentle strokes and caresses as they explored each other, discovering new sensations, new ways of making the other gasp. They reached for each other and kissed slowly and deeply. Somehow he removed the very little clothing that she still had on without once breaking the kiss. He moved above her, their legs tangling together, her hands cupping his face, his gripping her hips. Their moans lost in their kisses. He searched her face, waiting for her permission, she nodded, unable to do anything else; and he guided himself into her, both of them letting out a moan as they fused together in the oldest, most natural, way possible. He paused for a second, looking deeply into her eyes, not wanting to miss a moment of this, of her. He started to move, cautiously at first, but then found a pace that suited them both, that made her body arch in ecstasy, that forced low groans from his lips. Hands clasped and clutched and scratched and slipped over the sweat that now covered their bodies, their groans and grunts and sighs and moans were lost in their kisses. Her legs shifted and wrapped round him, pulling him deeper into her. All of it was driven by instinct. Both were pushing their hips against the other, driving each other to the brink, over and over and over, until… Mary cried out as she started to shake and tremble as waves of intense pleasure crashed over her and simultaneously relaxed and tensed every muscle in her body at the sweet release. This in turn sent Matthew over the edge, losing himself completely to her. He let out a deep groan before he collapsed on top of her, both of them breathless and exhausted, but so deliriously happy that they were unable to stop smiling.

* * *

><p>"Matthew?"<p>

"Yes?" His hand reached for hers, fingers lacing together. He stared at the metal band that now joined them, which he had chosen and carried around, which had later been locked away along with the accompanying feelings and memories, which had been dug out in a hurried search only hours earlier. And which was now exactly where it should have always been.

"When did you decide that you were going to propose?" she looked up to find his expression thoughtful.

"When I punched Carlisle," he grinned at the memory of how that first punch had sent the other man flying. It really had been so satisfying.

"Really?" It was not the answer she had been expecting.

"No. It was when I told you that you didn't have to marry him, the other night after dinner," he frowned slightly. He wasn't sure he could fully articulate all of the thoughts, all of the things he had felt in the past week, which had led to his decision. "I was feeling very hopeful after Carlisle left earlier, perhaps more so than I should have done. I was convinced you would refuse." He kissed the top of her head and pulled her closer to him, leaning back against the pillows, having eventually made it into the bed properly.

"I thought you were only being nice so that you could reject me in a more spectacular fashion. I don't deserve your love." She leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"Don't say that, please. The past is the past. We've both done things that we're not proud of, but we mustn't let it define who we are. We love each other and we are going to get married, that is all that matters now," he kissed her again and she sighed contentedly, feeling herself drift towards a restful slumber.

"Mary?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't know how long I'll be able to wait to get married now I know what we'll be waiting for," he hugged her closer still, revelling in the warmth of her skin against his. "We could just elope…maybe tomorrow…and then we could do this again…" he stroked her arm, too tired to start anything but enjoying the idea of it all the same.

"Yes, I'm sure that our parents would love that. Honestly Matthew. We've only been engaged for a few hours; let's not wish all the time away. Besides, we can't elope; I'm a lady," she shifted against him, slightly agitated that he was now keeping her awake.

"You weren't being very ladylike before…" she caught the slightly cheeky tone, and she didn't need to look at him to know exactly what sort of expression he would be wearing.

"Well you weren't behaving much like a gentleman."

"I didn't hear you complain. In fact, if I recall, I think you rather liked it…" he chuckled as she playfully hit him on the chest, hoping that he was finally going to let her sleep.

* * *

><p>"Do I really have to go?"<p>

"Yes. We can go for a walk or something later if you like, but for now, you need to go." He nodded and reluctantly dressed. She left the bed and wrapped a sheet around herself, the light catching the diamond as she moved. She looked like a goddess. He started to kiss her neck, and she placed her hands on his chest, playing with his shirt buttons. "Matthew, stop trying to stay…" although she wished he didn't have to go as well. The door handle suddenly rattled and they both froze. Anna appeared, and didn't seem at all surprised to see them stood as they were: Mary wrapped in a bed sheet with her hair loose and knotted, her hands on Matthew's chest, and Matthew stood in just a shirt and trousers with his arms wrapped around Mary's waist. She had been walking round the house the night before, unable to sleep, and she had seen Matthew go to his room from Lady Mary's, and then after several minutes, had seen him leave his room in his half-dressed state and return to the other bedroom.

"Matthew was just…" Mary trailed off. No. There was nothing that could be said to save this situation. It looked exactly like what it was. Colour had flooded both of their faces.

"I'm sorry to disturb my lady, Mr Crawley, but I thought you'd like to know the house is stirring, what with it being nearly breakfast time," she gave them a knowing smile and left.

"She knows," he said, stating the obvious, but looking anxious all the same.

"She won't say anything. Now you heard her…go!" They kissed a final time and she pushed him out of her room, hoping he wouldn't bump into anyone on the way back to his own.


End file.
